my awkward stage

you've pinned your wings.

2010-06-16T22:43:00.003-06:00

swing me down, quick and quiet little sighs
pick me up, soft and strong, carry me home
slip and fall, on your knees, don't you cry
i'll carry your heart, you can't hold on for long

lift your eyes, sweet and damp, softened smiles
hold my hand, firm and cold while we walk this road
step by step, soul & soul, mile by mile
take me near beside you and we can share your load

be brave, arch your back, open your lungs
unpin your wings, ball your fists, let your song be sung

yesssssss!

2010-06-12T19:59:00.000-06:00

my shoulders hurt.
i think maybe my wings are coming in.
yes. finally.

i can fly.

that time of day

2010-06-08T22:41:00.003-06:00

i love that time of day, when its just fading to night
i love how all you say is sweeter, everything is black and white
i love the feeling of chills in my bones
i love when its midnight and im far from home
i love the time i spend with you in the dusk
i love how our laughs turned from hope into trust.

n o f e a r

2010-05-27T22:22:00.002-06:00

be still, stay near
heart filled, head clear

breathe deep, let go
hold fast, speak slow

your hand, my hand
no fear, no plans.

pb&j

2010-05-21T14:27:00.000-06:00

sometimes when i think of you, i think of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. because you give my mouth that uncomfortable, dry feeling and it makes me nervous, but you’re sweet and i love you.

and then one day, i did.

2010-05-21T14:05:00.004-06:00

i think you were really gone for a while there.
of course, not really.
you were always still here.
but what i used to feel when you looked at me was gone.
for a moment, in the grand scope of things.
months, in my scope of things.
we didnt talk.
we didnt phone
we didnt laugh
we didnt hold our breath
we didnt wink
i didnt look at you when you passed.

and then one day i did.

and today, its like you never left.
and its not so bad, because while you were gone, i missed you.
i didnt know what it was at first.

that awkward 'missing you' lump in my stomach.
that confusion, when you think there is one more stair than there is.
and your foot falls down, along with your insides.
and its awkward
and messy
and sorrowful

and then one day it wasn't anymore.

because i looked up, and there you were, and we decided not to not. and now we do, instead of dont, and we will, instead of wont.

thank you.

my heart beats for the forest

2010-05-05T21:46:00.004-06:00

sometimes when the grass is still wet, and the sun is barely down
when the color is leeched from the earth into dusk
and the street is a ghost town

sometimes when my hands are cold, so the warm wind fills me up
when the trees all sigh, suddenly inside isn't quite enough

sometimes when i lift my face, and scream into the wind
when the sky cries and rain fills my eyes im back where it begins

im back where ive always been in my head, im back where i feel best
im back where i'd left my heart, because the woods call it out of my chest

no thank you.

2010-05-03T21:17:00.002-06:00

we saw the tide, coming in
my sister held both my hands

there in my mind, deep within
your voice, i hear you command

let me in.
let me in.
let me in your heart, your skin.

my sister held both my hands
i shut my eyes and said

no thank you.
please leave me alone.

you didnt.

the rest

2010-04-30T23:04:00.002-06:00

i lost my breath
for a second there
i looked into your eyes

i know i always talk of flight
of earth and starry skies

but now, my lovely daring boy
i can't help but talk of you

and when you glance up, i loose my thoughts
they are so startleingly blue.

the earth is just dirt, you can't count on the wind
they all do their best

but your skin, your eyes your whispered sighs
the rest, is just the rest.

pancakes and a new beginning

2010-04-30T22:12:00.002-06:00

we can't go back, i had to choose
between being me and having you
we held hands and watched the news
i hate the news, its always true.

we were eachothers in betweens
when i was on a limb
you took my hand, but we couldnt see
i wasnt her, you weren't him

maybe we can grow to know
eachother as best friends
i hope i know you when im old
i hope its not the end

i was your rosaline, you know
the one before The One
the world was blanketed in snow

but now i see the sun.

these new devices

2010-04-04T22:22:00.000-06:00

you throw back your head and whirl around
the lovely scent in your hair
first tossed up, and then falls down

you, are the wind and earth and air

you ignite the forest, you light the sky
you don't fade, you are a hopeful seed
i am a faulty switch, pass me by.

my heart, you are all i have and need

you are an open door, you let me fly
i am trying to spread these strange things
these new devices, laws to defy

you dust them off, my brand new wings

you, my favorite day dream
you, my fancy, my freedom
you, the one i'd never fully seen
you take my hands, and lead them

where i've seen before, but not like this
that distant shore, the one i'd missed

pretty please

2010-04-04T21:03:00.003-06:00

if i showed you my wings
would you teach me to fly?

they've just been hanging here
so really, its kind of a waste darling.

try and understand

2010-04-03T22:29:00.003-06:00

i hope you can understand
why you catch me staring
try and understand
how i can't be bold and daring

i hope you can understand
why i haven't telephoned
try and understand
that i'm used to life alone

i hope you can understand
all the strange things that i do
try and understand
and i'll try and understand you

two things

2010-03-23T23:16:00.001-06:00

while we were dozing, he told me two things.
first, he said "i love you like a hundred thousand sea shells"
after that he said "its a shame the ocean is seven hours away,

i'll have to show you some other way."

good luck, sweet pea.

2010-03-19T23:35:00.002-06:00

i need you to become exactly what you want me to be
because we both know that i need to be exactly what i am
and you need to find out what you want in yourself.

i would love to see you happy like you were in that photo
but we both know that you is gone, she is a ghost.
she was my best friend, but you put her on a shelf.

im putting up signs, looking for a new exact match
you could see if you fit, if you want
that is, of course, after you find out what shape your heart is.

mine's an owl.
you could be a mouse, if you want.
or a sea cucumber.
they also go well with owls.

i love you, good luck on your mission.
i need to step out of the way, so you can make your own sandwich and pave your own road.

where you belong

2010-03-19T15:22:00.004-06:00

when the world is quiet and your is heart is strong
when the fields are dancing and you sing along
when the trees enfold you and tousle your hair
thats when you and the earth and the sun and the air

become the same being, two ducks in a row
become the soft light warming faces below
become the same soil, kicked up by your toes
become the same soul so that everyone knows

that this is a girl who belongs with the earth.
that this is a girl who's known life since her birth

the hard stuff.

2010-03-18T21:40:00.002-06:00

at the end, i could see it
i'd always catch your lie
you would bite your top lip
breathless hair, ruffled sigh

when you finally decide
to look in me in the eye
i'll explain to you how
i sleep without your lullaby

its a lie i cant do it
i just sit there awake
not dreaming of you, not thinking
just in an in between state

im in dreamland, im floating
and you whisper on by
i run just as fast
but you pass me, you fly.

oh sweet boy im so sorry ive stepped on your toes.

2010-03-14T22:25:00.003-06:00

i wouldnt be mad if you told me to get lost
i wouldnt be mad if you told me im crazy
i wouldnt be mad if you told me you hate me
or that i make you sad
or that i hurt your feelings
but i would be peeved, perhaps,
if you avoided me in the hallway
or looked away right as i looked up
or didnt tell me anything at all.
just saying.
even so, we both know you dont have the man parts to deal with a problem like me.

all the things i cant do, because of you.

2010-03-10T20:41:00.004-07:00

i cant cry because that means im thinking of you
i cant glance just in case you glanced right then too
i cant talk around that lump in my throat
i cant warm up, your smell is in my coat
i cant take a walk, thats what we used to do
but i cant forget you, that would mean that we're through.

lose/lose situation

2010-03-10T20:20:00.002-07:00

i gave up on you
and i didnt feel bad
thought you gave up to
on all that nothing we had
but apparently not
i guess you want a new start
but i can only take so much doubt
before you break my heart

sun smiles, sun beams

2010-03-07T19:20:00.002-07:00

i wish we could sit in adjoining cucoons
we could float above towns in subletted balloons
we'd share a space just room for two
we'd share that place, just me and you

we could set free our sleep seeds
a thousand sweet dreams
our sun smiles could be freed
a thousand sun beams

how it feels

2010-03-04T19:09:00.002-07:00

i like
how this feels
how this looks
my mind reels

i like
how you smile
how you laugh
like a child

i like
how we sit
how we glance
this is it

i like
how it feels
beside you.

not so sure how to spin this.

2010-03-01T16:53:00.001-07:00

you'll be back, right?
we'll be just as close when you come home.
we'll stay on track, right?
you promised and i believe you,
but now im
alone.

you're not what was described on the package. but i guess thats my fault.

2010-02-22T17:03:00.003-07:00

we laugh, and dont laugh, depending on the topic
i can feel it in the air every once and a while
its a vapor, its a glance, its a whisper of a smile
we catch each others eye and i dont ever want to stop it

its nice right now, to be sitting like this
to talk and laugh and never be apart
you must know by now, you carry my heart
what im afraid of is what i worry you've missed

i still want to be your friend
but i can feel something in the space between
between you and i, between what felt and whats seen
a fog and a notion, a beginning, an end

so what i really want to know
are you a diver right in-er?
are you a sinker or a swimmer?
because i like to have fun, so lets take this slow

not today

2010-02-20T15:12:00.002-07:00

i would like to write of a twinkling notion
said the paper to the pen
i would like to go, and visit the ocean
to haunt the sea again

we could sing in the silence for hours and hours
we could shiver and shriek in the cold waves, like cowards

when the sun comes up the next day, we would paint it
so we never forget, replace toss or taint it
like cold hearts and sweet tarts, there's always a sour part
i'd like to embark on an uncharted sea march
i would, but i cant today,
im busy.

its nice to finally meet you

2010-02-12T17:27:00.001-07:00

i said sweet darling, how i need your help.
these songs, were they written 'bout somebody else?
i cried, and you held me i kept to myself
we rocked back and forth, with the rain as it pelts.

when the sun finally peeked through; my eyes were wet
you said hey kid, i dont believe we've met.
i am the boy who scribbled those songs
you are my love, thought you knew all along.

lets just be.

2010-02-08T20:50:00.003-07:00

we can squeeze our eyes closed
while our world crashes down
that way, i suppose
we could build a new town
we could bend all our cages
and break down all the walls
we could burn some old bridges
desecrate shopping malls.
we could break out, break free
we could make some new plans
or you could ignore all the "we"
or you could jump, take my hand.

dear ass face

2010-02-06T20:45:00.001-07:00

i may be loud
and i may be silly
but im nicer than you
and you have a small willy :)

where i belong

2010-02-02T22:45:00.003-07:00

with my feet in the grass
and my head in the clouds
when im facing your back
and we're lost in the crowd

when im seeing stars
when i cant look back down
i know right where you are
our feet wont touch the ground

i feel your breath in my hair
as you take me up flying
and we've found our way there.
or at least we are trying.

that stung, but its better now, i just feel the pulse.

2010-01-24T22:36:00.003-07:00

he looked at me and laughed
like pealing church bells
i didnt mean to be funny
but i smiled anyway.

ive got goosebumps,
theres a draft.
lets come out of our shells
you didnt mean to hurt me
i dont know what to say.

lets pave ourselves
a new path
i can feel the chills.
you shouted under your breath
that you'll check in another day.

im sorry i got so angry.
but i really do hate silence.
you might think im crazy.
but so are you.
you have no common sense.
we make a fine pair.

this is what runs through my head, when we hold hands.

2010-01-20T15:58:00.003-07:00

treetops lean down, surround you
i could be found, around you
if you'd just help me,
feel the sky again

you lift your hands, command me,
feel the star sand, that spans deep
into your eyes
reflect it out again

i hold on tight to night air
dont try to fight your bright stare
i just breathe deep and
swim through the hour glass

you blink i blink, whispering
let's sink, i think, we're blurring
into one person.
i feel alive again.

i just still really like you.

2010-01-10T21:15:00.002-07:00

in the middle of the night

when my eyes are bright

i feel a million tiny souls

screaming out your name

singing like a meadowlark

playing me just like a game

ancient egyptians knew something we've forgotten.

2010-01-06T22:56:00.006-07:00

please just look to the stars
i see right where we are
and our home can't be far
i know i sound bizarre.

please just look to the skies
and see through my eyes
as soon as you try
we both know you will fly

please just look in my heart
and you'll see where it starts
He and i, we won't part
because i see His art

please just look for His hand
feel your toes in the sand
see His infinate plan
see how the heavens began

untitled

2010-01-02T11:23:00.002-07:00

you're so cute.

with your lego and snowforts and smiles.

i cant help but like you.

we could race and fly kites for a while.

at this rate, i'm done for.

youve conquered my heart
i dont know why im surprised,
you've known fron the start

i miss you a little.

2009-12-26T23:50:00.001-07:00

i miss you
i miss your eyes
i miss your hands
i miss starry skies
i miss your laugh
it breaks endless night
i miss your squinty eyed smile
i miss holding you tight
i miss you
i miss leaves on the trees
i miss you like july
i miss scrapes on my knees
i miss waiting to fly

i am a slightly chilly cape wielding geek. and i miss you :)

2009-12-26T18:52:00.005-07:00

you were never going to let me go, were you my sweet?
you were never going to take that step
that aweful leap.
you say those words,
whisper that song
of fear and love abandoned,
but you would not leap,
or laugh
or sleep
without remembering what had been.
you were never going to awaken that darkness, were you
my boy
you were never going to tempt that spark, that aweful toy
you squint your eyes,
ball your fists
and
d
r
o
p

into the ocean
but you came back, and we're on track,
and bent on forward motion.
i love you like a clear night sky.

you love me like a story.

i love you like a piece of pie
you love me like exploring

i love you like my favorite song
you love me like a new day

i love that it has been so long
and we can still laugh and play

i love you so, my twinkling boy
that, so much, i hold true.
i love our love, i love our joy
you never would've. we both knew.

s u m m e r

2009-12-24T21:44:00.004-07:00

i hoped all summer this would come true

a clear bright sky, something to do

and in my sloth, lo and behold

my dreams in reverse, lets watch this unfold

you were everything i didnt want,

not like my plan, but how you taunt

i hoped for a tidy, sweet, beaming boy

but there you were, daunting, so coy

you, with your habits of laughing, leaving

i couldn't help to have hope in believing

our feet in liquid sand we squished

we dreamt and swam and talked and wished

you talked of daring, of cats and of caring

i talked about the weather

you wished upon a falling star

i picked apart a feather

you were so dashing, you charmed and glowed

i couldn't help but try it.

i followed you into the sea

we splashed, we started riots.

i hoped all summer someone would come

and now you're here, our hearts are drums

i hoped for quiet, you took my hand

didnt think i'd buy it, but in the sand

you taught me to take a chance.

you taught me love, with one last dance.

the Garden

2009-12-24T14:13:00.003-07:00

if you'd walk with me to the Garden's gate
if we sat among the flowers and vines
i could swim in your eyes, we could tempt fate
we could spin 'round with our hands intertwined

if we flew to heaven and back tonight
if we journeyed through the brook filled with stars
you'd see it and smile, my eyes would be bright
the Garden song would block out speeding cars

if you heard the Garden, if you could see
if you answered when she called you to us
you'd feel the relief, leaning against our tree
we'd be perfect love, we'd be perfect trust

but you, my sweet, cannot hear the Garden
you, foolish boy, have let your heart harden

snowforts for the soul

2009-12-21T23:13:00.003-07:00

you're the only one i know who survived growing up
you're my lone cowboy ranger, the koolaid to my cup
you're the only one who can make me stay up and lose sleep
i feel your hand in mine, lets make a promise to keep
when your rough, dry fingers wrap themselves around mine,
we'll know that we've kept it, we've stood the test of time
so lets get out of here, lets go fall in love
we could go make a snowfort, while hope drifts down from above.

the purpose of shoulder blades

2009-12-20T22:38:00.003-07:00

the sleepless ghost
on rainwashed roads
i cant see past your eyes

your halo glows
lets take this slow
i cant accept goodbyes

your angel wings
my heart, soul, sings
as your voice lifts me high

sun so close it stings
dawn comes, you bring
me with you when you fly
<3

lets hold hands

2009-12-20T16:32:00.003-07:00

i just want to hold your hand

if worlds crash down, we're all but sand

from dust into dust, back to Promised Land

on the journey there, if we still both stand

i would walk with you, just to hold your hand

if you'd let me, i'd be beside

i'd be right there, with rising tide

as the sun sets, cosmos collide

i will not leave, should you decide

to walk with me, we could just try

we'd take our time, if the world should end

we'd be as one, the age old friend

the kind that never breaks nor mends

as we walk on the night impends

we walk into the great Descend

i just want to hold your hand

if this, could be my lone demand

if love is true, then we should fight

if love is blind, ive lost my sight.

and yet,

2009-12-20T16:20:00.002-07:00

i can't say what i mean
with poems or prose
the thoughts in my head
aren't the least bit composed

i could set them free now,
like a bunch of balloons
but i just can't see how
can't see why its too soon

i have yet to create
something real, something raw
don't think i can escape
the sealed fate of bourgeois

whatever i feel can't be free till i try
so i can't stop writing until i figure out why.

my sweet <3

2009-12-19T20:54:00.002-07:00

sometimes i wake up in the night

my sheets are cold and my eyes are bright

i feel around and switch the lights

the soft flourescence taunts my fright

i step by step, on cold, worn floors

pad through the jungle ; out the door

i trip on doubt, and on all fours

i cry out, i scream, i thrash and roar

in my skull is pounding beats

the stairs are folding, in echoed creaks

and then i see you there, my sweet

The Written Word, all typed and neat